I started this blog back in 2015 as something to do when I was “bored”, or needing a “challenge”, and if I’m being perfectly honest with you, I think that was the wrong way to go about it. As you can see, I went off to university, got caught up in life, and hey ho, look what got forgotten about whilst still in its infancy.
I’m sorry, blog. You must have felt so abandoned, craving for posts to place on your shelves. Life got in the way, and it’s taken me until now to decide to come back.
I enjoy writing, but I absolutely do not get enough time to do it anymore. What with assignments, placements, and work on top of things (not to mention attempting to maintain a fair social life, healthy romantic relationship, and keeping myself on the professional side of mental health nursing, as opposed to the service user side), I just haven’t had the time.
Or, rather, I haven’t had the motivation. I’ve actually had plenty of time. Bags of it, in fact. Instead, I’ve spent that time getting stuck on endless loops of Facebook’s “Tasty” videos, 30-60 second moments of yumminess, that get sent to my saved items, and inevitably never looked upon again. Or I’ve spent it watching endless episodes of Come Dine With Me, or Four in a Bed, or Countdown with my housemates, because that is apparently what my life has become now. You see, the thing is, when university gets stressful, as it inevitably does, you don’t really have the energy for anything else sometimes.
I’ve decided to change that. I think. Or should that be, “I hope, whilst squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as possible, whilst trying to maintain a permanent smile at the same time”? One of my less unhealthy ways of passing time has been to watch YouTube. The endless stream of creativity that comes from that website is astonishing, and it really helps to motivate me to think, y’know what? I want to do that. I’m not bothered about fame or fortune (though a pay rise for nurses would be nice, thanks!), but I do enjoy just creating, and like I said… that’s fallen at the wayside.
This time, I want to blog for reasons other than boredom. I want to document and experience things, and share them with you. I want to take the time out of my busy schedule to reflect on things I enjoy, and maybe sometimes things I don’t enjoy, because as we learned from Inside Out (2015), negative emotions are just as important as positive emotions. You can’t have joy without sadness! This blog will be a safe haven to talk about everything I need to, from my obsessive love of Lush (still going strong, as of today, and my sorely empty bank account), to my colourful wardrobe (it’s not, it’s all either blue or black), to anxiety, and the stress of life. You might even get an insight into the life of a mental health nursing student.
I am still my second hand self. I have been wrung through life’s mangles, I have seen despair, and I have known pain. But y’know what? I’m me because of it. Without my past experiences, both sad and happy, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Surprisingly, that person is somebody that I actually quite like. She’s a bit nuts, and she talks too much and too loudly at times, and she says things without thinking, but she’s kind, and observant, and thinks about others before herself, and loves her family and friends, and I think that’s important. I’m getting closer and closer to loving myself, and I hope you will too.